Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
