Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
