You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
bring money and cleavage
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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