Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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