No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
