i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
