And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
