sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
