Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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