im having a threesome with these popsicles
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize