im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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