Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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