I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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