If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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