he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
