I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
