I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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