were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize