I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I'm at about main and main street
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
