im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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