Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
