Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
