I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
