i just sent this text using only my big toe
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
