dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
