Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
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