We won't sleep together?
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
