Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
she pinky promised me she was 18
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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