I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
