You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
