This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
