He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
