farters have to be the big spoon...
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
They left me at home... I'm a liability
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
