dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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