Fine. I'll sleep in my office
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Randomize
