you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
