is your mom at the bar?
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
