Your tits are I can't wait for
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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