there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
are you so shy because you have an std?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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