i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize