Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
