There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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