So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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