nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
