hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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