5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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