My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
