I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
