I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
