Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
i out mim tonsoeep
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
