What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
