I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
