just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
