yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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