actually, I'm a sock model
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
