before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
