is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
