that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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