look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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