i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
