yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
we should paint friendship bongs
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