There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Randomize
