I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
