Where are you?
In a non slutty way
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
