i wish starbucks made bloody marys
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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