Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
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