in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize