i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
